I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
