she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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