I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
