ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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