tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
