we have officially lost it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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