I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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