Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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