i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
