i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
