Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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