I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
