There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
