Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
