so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
