he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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