Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
