Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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