I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
