How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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