I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
