she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
