After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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