based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize