Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
In America we eat man semen.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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