so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
