So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
