plz talk dirty to me
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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