Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
