I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
