Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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