sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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