Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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