i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
