think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
worst night to have a conscience
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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