Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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