I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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