Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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