dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
