just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He shit in the fireplace
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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