I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
