I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize