Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
