turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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