I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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