The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
