I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
