Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
