She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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