At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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