I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
