I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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