I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
