dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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