They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
