ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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