we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
