k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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