tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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