Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
