I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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