No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
