girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I came so hard my ears popped.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize