I can feel you judging me through the phone.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
