No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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