Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
